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June 9, 2001

GRADUATION / COMMENCEMENT

Mark joined the graduation festivities of his high school that in part commemorate the transition from childhood to adult. It was an emotional and moving event as he was pushed in his wheelchair to the podium to receive his diploma amidst a standing ovation from his peer students. From the shadows of near death, he has somehow made it through thus far, thanks to many people who helped make it possible.

Mark left Kentfield Rehabilitation Hospital on May 9 after some twelve weeks of intensive therapies that resulted in significant progress. Our next step is to go to Los Angeles for evaluation that surgical intervention may help gain mobility of movement of his arms and hands.

Like his peer graduates, Mark is now commencing his life as an adult, however challenging that may be.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Grahame and Hideko


March 17, 2001

FIRST STEPS–BOOT CAMP

Dear Friends,

Mark entered Kentfield Rehabilitation Hospital in Marin County, California, in mid-February for a period of intensive therapy that we hope will maximize his future capabilities. While the Kentfield program is tough, demanding several hours of therapies each day and medical procedures that create temporary discomfort, he is responding well. The medical practitioners, therapists, and staff of the hospital are of the highest caliber in their disciplines and he is fortunate indeed to have the opportunity to work with such a team.

After an initial period of finding his new circumstances difficult, he has settled into the regime well and we have been told he is a model patient. We expect he will be discharged around the end of April and thereafter will resume recovery, therapies, and education at home and at school.

We will soon have to face the longer-term realities that Mark’s life will almost certainly be governed by a level of physcial impairment that none can presently accurately predict. We remain confident, however, that he will find within himself the strength and resources to make his new life meaningful and fulfilled. His family, supported by many friends, a wonderful medical team, and a caring community, will be with him as far down the path that we are able to go.

The hardest step on a long journey is the first.

Grahame and Hideko


July 17, 2000

ONE REALITY; TWO LIVES

Dear Friends,

Today, the anniversary of Mark’s accident, two families gathered together to face the reality that none of us would have chosen: the lives of two vibrant young and talented persons torn to shreds in a fateful moment. At Max’s grave, we shared sentiments. Together we recognized the fragility of life itself.

Max left writings on his computer that articulate profound insights: “I see the light above me...I want to grab it, to leap up to take the light and become one with its divinity.” Despite his youth, Max already had understood what the eye of human reason cannot usually penetrate.


Mark is trying his best to reconstruct his life. As this picture shows, he is learning to eat by himself food prepared by a volunteer nurse who lovingly cares for him. His determination remains resolute and his functional abilities are slowly returning. One year ago, Mark was unable to even move an eyelid; now all can see that our hopes and prayer for his recovery were well founded.

We thank you all for your support nd help through this past most difficult year.


Grahame and Hideko



June 18, 2000

“I LOVE BEING HERE; I LOVE MY LIFE.”

Dear friends,

The night before his accident, Mark finished the dinner shift as a busperson at the Sandpiper Restaurant in Bodega Bay, California. He walked along the beach with a restaurant colleague and expressed to her “I love being here; I love my life.” during the many nights of his coma, we played a CD of the sound of waves and promised him that one day he will return to that beach and the Sandpiper. As the pictures show below, he made it and was so, so happy.

He was also able to attend the graduation festivities of his high school class. Since he will return to his school in September, Mark did not graduate but received recognition with a standing ovation. It was a very moving experience.

Mark is now starting a new phase of recovery. He will attend adaptive physical education classes at our local Junior College. We will take him to movies, to his favorite ice cream shop, friends’ homes, and places enabling him to integrate into his new, changed life. His elder brother and a colleague have developed technology that will enable him to interactively communicate using a computer. Mark’s second chance to experience the great gift of life is an enormous challenge, but the support and help of many talented, dedicated, and loving persons is making it possible. The road ahead remains hard and long, but our hopes have been rewarded and our prayers are being answered.

Grahame and Hideko


April 21, 2000

Dear friends,

For the first time since his accident, Mark now has the capability to make a choice by himself and for himself. A specially designed switch has enabled him to select television stations with his right foot. While this may sound almost insignificant, we see it as a major milestone on his road to recovery. When he can consistently make decisions using a switch, technology will open the door to communication, expression of needs, and the world of cyberspace.

His determination to recover remains strong and his personality and sense of humor become more apparent each day. We recently restored the computer he had taken apart a day or so before the accident and his joy of listening to the music and video clips he had downloaded was almost overwhelming. When friends become aware of his web site (markpetchey.com) we hope his computer will give him new opportunities to restore relationships he so much enjoyed.

We are looking towards obtaining a wheelchair accessible vehicle to provide opportunities to visit friends, go to the beach or attend some of the many local festivities in our county. He has shown remarkable patience during the trials of the past nine months and we now need to help him socially re-integrate into his former life.

To complement the western medical treatment that has saved Mark’s life, we are working with integrative therapies evolving from eastern traditions that treat the body as a whole, unified system. The gentle, non-invasive therapies are helping both Mark and ourselves to better understand the work we have to do to help him along the road to recovery.

His progression brings yet greater demands to Mark and those who are caring for him. The work is hard and relentless. The road ahead remains long but we have already come so far.

Grahame and Hideko

“And when you work with love you bind yourself to yourself,
nd to one another, and to God.”

Kahlil Gibran


March 19, 2000

Dear friends,

Our hope and prayers for Mark’s recovery are transforming into reality.

During February, after rigorous tests to ensure he could swallow without excessive danger, Mark had his first meal in seven months - a few teaspoons of yogurt and applesauce. This was a major milestone towards his rehabilitation. We continue the eating therapy thrice daily and he is now taking a little soup, cereal and his favorite chocolate pudding. He loves it all. We hope that as the ability to move his mouth and digestive tract improve, the ability to speak may start to return.

He now can propel his wheelchair across our parking lot, albeit backwards! We soon expect to test his ability to go forward in a self-propelling wheelchair using his hands. These are the first steps towards his being able to move independently. Our local education authorities have started a home-school program for Mark with the realistic expectation that he may be able to return to his high school with special assistance in September. He may also have the opportunity to attend a physical education program at our local junior college during summer.

While Mark is totally cognitive, his abilities to move and express himself are severely limited. With the help of therapists and computer technology, we hope that he will gradually be better able to manipulate his body and articulate his needs.

As always, we express our deep gratitude to the many people who help Mark. As he progresses, new challenges in caring for Mark arise that prove to be ever more demanding. However, our hope and resolve remain unshaken.

Grahame and Hideko

HOPE

Yes! Hope which always deludes!
"It flickers like flame, and is not flame!
Sometimes it rages!
It's feverish, impetuous, burning!
But idleness changes it to languor!
If you're defeated or lost, it grows cold!
If you dream of winning, if flames!
Its voice is faint, but you listen;
it gleams as bright as the sunset!"

Giuseppe Adami & Reneto Simoni
Turandot


January 30, 2000

Dear Friends,

Mark had the most wonderful surprise birthday party. It was his first social outing since the accident. As I drove with him in Wheelchair Express, I whispered we were going to a party without telling him it was for him. Minutes later, I wheeled him down a ramp as some two hundred people sang "Happy Birthday To You". At first, he seemed confused but he quickly warmed to the many friends who had come to wish him well. He enjoyed every moment until we wheeled him away after an hour of music, songs and fun, all in his honor. There were seventeen birthday cakes, none of which remained after the party was over. For Mark and his family, it was a most special and forever memorable evening.

Mark is progressing along the road to recovery. He tells us that he is alive and well. Under the careful supervision of a speech therapist, he now swallows small amounts of food twice per week. Most days, he is very alert and he seems to be the happiest of people. His laughter is almost infectious and his joy of life seems incredible given his present circumstances and the challenges he must face day by day. He loves listening to audiotapes and responds to even the subtlest humor. As far as we can perceive, he understands all we are saying. He communicates with facial gestures and movements of his right hand and sometimes expresses feelings and emotions in a perceptible manner.

The love and support of many, many people encourage him to embrace his new and very changed situation with courage and determination. Hideko and I express again our deep gratitude to all that work, help and pray for Mark.

Grahame and Hideko


December, 1999

Dear Friends,

Grahame and Hideko want to share our joy this holiday season as never before. Mark’s accident on July 17 carved into our beings a receptacle for such joy that perhaps only such tragic events unlock. Mark is alive and recovering and our joy and gratitude are without bounds.

After four months of coma, during the Thanksgiving holiday we noticed a change in Mark’s responses. At last he answered our calls by raising his right thumb. He had finally found that tiny crack whereby he could reach out to us. We can now communicate in simple ways.

His personality seems unchanged. He laughs, teases endlessly, grins and moves his eyes in his characteristic way. He enjoys listening to audio tapes, watching the Simpsons and Star Wars, and above all he values the visits of his teenage friends. His conscious physical capabilities are presently limited. He cannot speak, eat or walk. Together with therapists, we are working daily on developing these skills.

The help and prayers of many friends and our community in providing care and comfort for Mark is making his recovery possible. Knowing that we are not alone in our quest is a major pillar of support for Mark’s family. The miracle that we have been praying for is happening and it is now happening every day.

Thank you and our best wishes for the New Year,

Grahame and Hideko